Guys are as obsessed with their dicks as women can be about their boobs. Wherever you look, there are dick jokes about size, magazine ads promising a larger dick, phallic ceremonies around the world that eqivocate larger penis' with fertility and now there are surgeries (very questionable if not outright dangerous from what i hear) that will add inches to any guy... for enough money to buy a nice Mercedes.

And where there's a desire, there are places on the internet vying to mooch as much money off you as you can make... and then some. This usually comes in the form of junk mail... spam.

And i get spam.

Here is some of the mail that i get:

Guys, no matter what they say, Size DOES Matter!

In fact, in a recent survey, 67% of women say that they are unhappy with their lover's penis size.

It only takes 5-10 MINUTES per day to achieve the size you want! [yes, it's called an ERECTION]

No surgery
No vacuum pumps
No drugs [just plain unamerican]
No embarrassing and painful contraptions. [but what if i LIKE pain and embarassment?]

We are not claiming a "Miracle" or "Magical" temporary cure to make your penis grow, these are proven medical techniques which we've been studying and perfecting since 1994, that you can do RIGHT NOW to achieve PERMANENT, safe, and HUGE results!

Guaranteed results!!

Thousands of men have tried our methods with great success! [there wasn't a single customer endorsement]

Here's another. More or less, it goes straight to the point:

Title: Get the Big Dick You Deserve !!! [Some people just act like one, but i don't think they're acting]

HAVE A SMALL PENIS? WE CAN MAKE IT BIGGER!!!

[funny thing is, i make mine bigger about 3 times a day]

This one was actually pretty clever:

Below is the result of your feedback form. It was submitted by
(Micheal A Carter@aol.com) on Tuesday, May 22, 2001 at 12:44:14 [the clever part is there was no such "feedback form"]
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

: Want a bigger penis? Enhance the size of your penis 1-3 inches by just exersizing it.Want to learn more, place this url in you're browser. http://207.89.30.63/pdevelopment/index.html [notice the innapropriate use of "you're". It makes me think that maybe this is a SCAM]

There was another titled:

STOP WISHING YOU HAD A BIGGER PENIS

[that's like asking me stop my heroin habit that i never started]

But finally, some people got it right. It was another lonely friday night keeping my secret little problem to myself and i got these mails in one of my many accounts. Re titled:

Your MONSTER SIZED COCK !

YOUR DICK SO BIG IT SCARES PEOPLE!!!

[they used "your" correctly, so these people OBVIOUSLY these folk KNEW what they were talking about]

 

Come see what i mean if you don't believe me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ahoy.