i haven't written in more than a month because based on the amount of mail i receive from my "mailto" links on my pages, i have no reason to believe that there are many people reading my writings.

but i've always written to satisfy myself and not others, so here's to trying to get back in the groove of things.

last nights show was an exercise in stupidty. i was at fault for not providing some concrete direction and as usual, i should not overestimate the mentality of late night austin.

i think i ended up with the topics of what sort of fetish, if any, do you have? the only caller i got in response to this was some wanker who claimed he was into poop. i guess he could have been sincere, but frankly i think he was a poseur.

things degraded to a bunch of wanks just name calling. well, if that's what they wanted... why not? but then a guy who's called before called back. i do not know his name and i've never met him. but his situation is that he's been involved with the same woman for some time now (2 years i think he said), and he's been having a relation with another man for the last 4 months. apparently she doesn't have a clue and he's not entirely sure he should tell her.

i argued the point that he should and we discussed the matter for some time, but when the call was over, the homophobic white trash of austin came out with a vengence. it was just venomous, radical right, wholesale hate. as a Christian, i feel that is imperitive that we as individuals, as communities, as a country, get our priorities right. that means we need to stand up to the challenges of global hunger, human rights violations in China (and elsewhere), religious persecutions, the events in Chechnya, the fact that the serbian military tried their damnedest to erradicate Albanians, the reality of girls in some fundamenalist Islamic countries who have their clitoris removed with nothing more than a sharp piece of glass or a rusty can lid and not last nor least, here in our own country, 4 policemen who were trusted to serve and to protect, fired 41 bullets at a man, 19 of which hit, into a man who did not produce a clear nor reasonable threat against 4 officers who already had their firearms drawn and aimed. and for thier lack of judgement, they are found innocent of any criminal wrongdoing.

so i look at the life of Jesus and i see a man who taught the values of love, respect and dignity for ourselves and the others around us and i remember that his life was about helping others selflessly. then i hear the ignorant, sanctimonious anger of the radical right calling my show and fag bashing. they do not use facts, only generalizations, rumors, lies and frankly... their own twisted fantasies (eg: rampant fisting, "gerbiling", categorical promiscuity, etc...). they do not want to recognize that a person who finds someone of the same sex attractive as a human being. and why? because if they lose their ability to hate, they lose their identity.

tomorrow i get paid. there are Chechyans who are being persecuted and irradicated for wanting their independence from Russia. i don't have much to give other than a few dollars, but i think tomorrow i will write a check to the Red Cross to help out with a REAL problem and give just a grain of sand of compassion instead of trying to dehumanize another person because they love someone of the same sex.